For MacBook Pro

duration: 3h


For BYOB Toronto, I held ‘Intervention for Macbook Pro’.  Myself, Mighty Mouse, Acer Mini Projector, External iSight and Western Digital tried to get Macbook Pro to see that she has anger problems and has been very difficult the last few years.

I am still editing the 3 hour screen capture.  If you’d like to read the transcript just scroll to the bottom.  🙂

Thank you MacBook Pro for joining us today.  You’re probably wondering why you’re here and what this is.  I originally told you that this was a therapy session between you, me, external iSight and Acer, but in fact this is an intervention.  We are all concerned about your stability.  This won’t be easy but I hope that you can handle it and I know that you can because you are a strong beautiful soul that deserves the help and support we have to offer.

You and I first met four years ago, September 2007.  You were originally friends with my dad but he thought you’d really enjoy traveling around the world with me.  This is when I believe your problems started. When we landed in London England you refused to start.  I had an assignment to do and as I wasn’t expecting you to stop working, I hadn’t thought to bring your system software discs.  In my panic I had to race to Slade’s tech department HOPING they would have the right discs.  I was so lucky that they did.  I was so unsure about what going to happen.  Would you work again? Would you be able to get better.  Would our short time together be cut short by your illness?  I was so dependant on you.  After all I was doing my MFA in MEDIA.  I figured you got sick when I first plugged you in.  The electricity in England is different.  You immediately reacted.  The current running through you was also emitted and when I touched you, you pulled the hairs in my arm so tightly it actually hurt.  I’m so sorry I’m having trouble expressing myself.  You took it for a short period of time before you just shut down and wouldn’t start again.  This was no lover’s “spark” it was a frustration to both of us.  After all of this I managed to get you the help you needed.  We backed you up but you’ve never been the same.  You’ve been a bit slow and unresponsive.  I even bought you new cords thinking you’d love it.  But alas it wasn’t what you really wanted and perhaps needed. Perhaps my small attempt at helping you wasn’t enough to seal our relationship.  This turned out to be one of three re-installs.  It’s like you gave up all hope.  Maybe I’m seeing this all the wrong way. Maybe you were really just upset that I had relied on an outside Hard Drive to help you.  Is that what upset you?  Were you annoyed that I asked LaCie and later Western Digital to back you up?  Did you think I thought you were sufficient enough in memory that I had to rely on outside devices… I’m repeating myself now.  I think you’re memory is fine…but I want you to work and play with no strain.  I want you to work without set backs.  Without all the extras holding you back.  Maybe you liked hanging out with my dad more than me.  Maybe you hate me and you’re mad and angry to have been taken away from your original friend.  But I like to think that someday you will accept that this is the situation.  That we are together until you inevitably die.  Can you accept that? Can you manage to hang out with me until the end of your life? Do I want to really ask this question.  I fear the answer will be no.  Please don’t die on me. Please wake up tomorrow.  Please carry on with me.  I think I’ve always treated you with love and respect.  I’ve always made sure you’re comfortable and stable and that no one but me helps you.  You have to let go of this resentment you hold towards me. This anger you seem to carry around with you.  You have to admit after that original electric shock you seem to have hated me even more.  Hated me because I took you away and plugged you into a country you didn’t want to be in.  After that blip, I thought that working and collaborating together would bring us together and help get you excited.  This didn’t’ happen I don’t think.  Didn’t you enjoy our first piece of work we ever made together?  Don’t you remember? We did it with your built in iSight.  It was awesome… Here let me show you. Can’t you see how amazing we are together.  That you should trust all of us here.  That we all love you and just want you to do well.  It was after this work that you decided to stop your internal iSight.  This led me to make work without you.  You made me rely on Zena’s MacBook Pro in order to continue the work that I wanted to create and make with you.  Did you not want to make work with me? Was this a sign? I don’t take no for an answer and had my old external iSight sent over from Canada to help me and you come together again.  iSight has helped us don’t you think?  She is here with us now.  She wants you to know that she loves you and only wants you to be happy.  She’s not here to take over. She’s not here to make you’re life hard. She only wants you to understand that she’s here to help you out.  That she’s here for you. She’s not screening against you in any way.  How do you think it made me feel to have to rely on someone else.  To look to another device for help.  How do you think I feel knowing that every time I prepare for a show I fear that you won’t be up for it.  That you won’t be there to support me.  That you will sabotage me in some way.  It HURTS! It really HURTS! I need you. I want to be with you.  I trust WANT to trust every ounce of myself for you.  I want you to know that you can trust me.  That this anger won’t get you anywhere.  I won’t give up until the end.  This last performance that we collaborated on, I hoped, would go well.  I hoped that we could work and collaborated together well.  After all we were back in Canada.  You were home.  BUT NO! a few days before the performance… and let me tell you it was with via Japan for fucks sakes.  This was no local show. This was making an impact internationally.  What do you do?  You play tricks on external iSight! You turn your own internal iSight on and off like this was some kind of game.  Like the work we had all put in to this show was a joke to you.  Like you didn’t care.  I hate you for that day.  The day of the first performance you played tricks with the internet.  How can I stream live if there is no internet!!!! HUH!? How can I work under these conditions?  How can I trust you.  How can I believe in you.  As a result I had to make excuses to those who were expecting a show.  You made me look bad.  It was unacceptable.  It was no time for games and laughs.  It was a time to be seriouse.  When we did the show a second time with a new internet service you seemed fine.  I can’t play these games anymore.  I can’t handle these mood swings you go through whenever you feel fit.  Either work or don’t work. I’ll replace you if I have to.  Was it because I was collaborating as well with my friend Junko?  She was in fucking Japan! How can you feel threatened by her?  How can you think…look I need to take five…Can  you see how much everyone loves you!!!! We just want the best for you.  We want you to be happy.  We want you to know that you are not obsolete but a worthy tool that I will love forever.  I want you to get better. Can’t you see how all these people want you to get there too?  I’m playing our movie for you.  How many times have we watched it together?  20?  I’m gonna say 20.  That’s a lot. J

Back to what I was saying before.  I really think that your jealousy towards my dear friend Junko is unwarranted.  She is another artist that I deeply respect and believe in.  and she doesn’t deserve being played with either.  Her reputation is as much on the line as my own.  Secretly I watched this movie because Rodriguez is in it…  ok off topic. Back to the point.  It really hurt when you couldn’t even perform an important show with me.  You seemed annoyed and frustrated with the whole thing. But yet later you were fine. What else can I say.  Our favorite movie is playing off of Western Digital.  I’ve got external iSight here to make you see sense.  And the new edition to our family is Acer. Who has only just joined us and already believes in you.  Do you see? Do you understand now?  You are worth fighting for.  You are not going to just be thrown away like so many other computers. You are loved.  No get to work and help me out will ya! Do we have to go through the letters and words of support that have been sent in?  I had to perform that piece without you! Without you! You’re lucky it was only to HP Deskjet.   She is gone now. I sold her.  I had to let her go.  She wasn’t worth the investment of shipping her back.  I love her but she had her own problems that I couldn’t help.  She couldn’t change. You Can! You can change! I realize now that you don’t need money to change you.  You only need words of support.  Stop hiding behind this hatred you carry for me and start living and accepting our friendship and love I have for you.  You could be amazing. It’s all up to you!  No one else can change you here but yourself.  You have to make the effort.  You have to believe in US! Not just you and me but You, Me, external iSIGHT, Western Digital, Mighty Mouse, Acer, the thousands of USB Sticks that I plug into you,  The movies that we play, the work that we collaborate on.  Everything is up to you and we are just apart of the whole of you.  You complete each of us.  How could Acer project if you were there for them.  What would they project… ok minus attaching her to a cell phone or other external device….fuck it! It’s all you baby! It’s always been you.  Sure I could hook Acer up to an DVD player but I don’t.  I hook her up to you.  I make her work with you.  I’m showing you these works of us because I think you need to see what we could have and HAVE done together.  We work together on every layer. Not just artistically but also for work.  We do it all! And you love making illustrations or doing graphic work with me.  Can you handle this?  Can you handle all these things, and people expressing there love and admiration and best wishes for you?

Maybe I should show you the performance that worked between Junko and I. the one when you decided to work with me rather than against me.  You can do this! Please I want to show you.  Don’t hold back!!! Please don’t hold back.  You need to see what we have created together.  Can you see this?  Can you see how we worked together so well? The five of us bridged gaps and brought together people from Japan and people from Canada! Together. We did it together.  Junko was so nice with you. She only ever respected you.  It was a long one…but we did it together. I think you understand.  Do you? Do you understand now what we’ve been trying to tell you? For crying out loud! My desktop image is one of you and I.  I’ve got to go pee.  I’ll be right back.  Please don’t do anything silly.  I’m back! See how I never leave you for long.  I can’t handle being away from you.  I just want to hang out and do things with you whenever I have a moment.  We spend like….what…… 12 hours together every day.  You’re my life. You’re the one I think about when I wake up and the one I think about when I go to bed.  I just got this new smart phone and guess what? I forgot her at home today! I had to charge her….fuuuuuuck it’s so annoying to have to charge something that I wish never has to be charged.  But look I don’t care. I made do without. But I can’t make it without you.  I have to use you! I need you! You’re more apart of my life than I think you want to admit.  You are everything to me.  Please stop what you’re doing. Stop playing these games. Stop pretending that we’re not meant to be together until one of us dies. That’s totally not funny!!!! Don’t fucking do that! Why would you close this file like that!!@!!!!!!!! What the fuck! Not fare. I’m here for you!  Why do I deserve this! Why do I deserve your bullshit! Just fucking do what you’re made to do.  I play our favorite movie! I have friends from London write to you….Do you know what time it is for them! It was 1am! She was working in the morning.  She wasn’t just around! She wasn’t just “hangin”.  She was writing to you because she wanted to.  You and me are just like the characters from our favorite movie.  We are meant to be together and we are meant to have meant but we are from different worlds.  Oh MY GOD….you won’t believe what I’m having to listen to right now.  Never mind.  Maybe I understand. I can see why you find the art world so complex. Sometimes exhausting.  a lot of insecurities.

What’s another movie we’ve watched?  OOOOOH I know!  How to Train Your Dragon! AWESOME movie.  We watched this together about 4times so far. The first time I was totally hung over from zena and my going away.  You made me feel so much better. Although really I didn’t.  I thought by 11pm I’d feel good enough to go and see the most amazing painter and friend that I know…sarah but no… I felt like crap the entire day. And when we got there I had to eat tons of chocolate cake just to feel better….oh did I mention that it was Sarah’s bday…? J anyway… now that I have a television we don’t watch so many movies or tv shows together.  How about we make a weekly date.  You can pick the movie… or tv show.  Your choice!  J  I just want you to … sorry someone just dropped their beer… ok I’m back.  I’m sorry to have left you. But can’t you see that people are interested in you?  They want to know that we are ok? That you are ok.  We are very much like this movie too.  From two different worlds. Coming together… suppose to rely on one another but maybe we’re a little lacking in that.  Maybe there are some things that you don’t want to be tested with.  Maybe there are some devices that you really don’t like… maybe there was a time when we weren’t together and someone or something rubbed you the wrong way.  But you were with my dad.  He’s such a loving father. He would never hurt you.  He gave you to me because my 15inch MacBook Pro was giving me hard times and wasn’t going to last much longer.  But she never gave me such as hard of a time as you have these past few years.  I’ve really tried.  I’m not sure what else I can do to make you see what we’re all saying to you.  That we all want you to get better and enjoy the time you have.  There’s no sense in thinking what you’re thinking.  You are amazing, can’t you just see that.  Or do you think that you are better than us.  That you are better than external iSight, Western Digital, Acer, Mighty Mouse, all the cords and USB sticks that have ever come into contact with you.  Maybe you really just think you better than us…that we should bow to you. NO! you are an equal to us.  Yes it’s true, we couldn’t totally manage without you. But we can easily replace you.  We can make you redundant.  Who are you to tell us that you’re better than us.  After all without me, for example, you would never be.  i don’t want to go this rout.  You are amazing and you should know that we count on you just as much as we count on each other.  We need to work together rather than against each other.  I love you! You hear me! I… LOVE… YOU! Please see this for what it’s worth to you.  Please understand what these words mean to us all.  Myself, external iSight, Western Digital, Acer, Mighty Mouse. WE LOVE YOU!

Get the help you need! Please… we are here for you but if you don’t get this help we cannot help you and work with you any longer. This is non negotiable.

Love you always and forever,

Natasha, external iSight, Acer, Mighty Mouse, Western digital, Sharrine, Morris and Zena.


Get well soon!


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